How to survive:
A broken heart
1. Accept that guys are heartless fools.
2. Have lots of ice cream, even if you do go broke. Broken hearts don't occur often and nothing gives more consolation than splurging on ice cream you shouldn't have to save your money and hips. At least I hope so.
3. Bitch to your girlfriends. They will understand.
4. Cry. A lot. Then toss all the tissues down the toilet with the guy.
5. Write in your diary, no matter how lame your words might sound. Nobody's going to read it anyway.
6. Don't ever think about the guy again, no matter how difficult it might seem at first. It saves your sanity and emotional health in the long run.
Without the Internet
1. Go to the park.
2. Hang out in shopping complexes shopping.
3. Hang out in shopping complexes to survey the architecture.
4. Take a tour of Subang Jaya in Rapid KL's buses.
5. Call your friends and talk for hours.
6. Read.
7. Adopt a cat.
8. Harass your neighbour.
9. Chat up your cousin's friends through snail mail.
10. Get lots of pirated DVDs and drool over the scenery. Recommended: Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman and Johnny Depp.
11. Film your own movie, maybe with your cat/dog as the main protagonist. Then upload to YouTube and publicise it online and hope that Malaysia's indie scene picks it up.
School
1. Pretty easy.
2. Study.
3. Get friends.
4. Butter up the teachers.
5. Talk a lot.
6. Or maybe not. Become a Mensa certified genius instead.
7. The first two sub-headings apply here.
8. Write your own book. Suggestion: The Best School Toilets in Subang Jaya. (If you do write that, remember to send it to the Health Ministry. They'll be very interested to know, trust me.)
Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any consequences which might arise from any individual's actions influenced by these guidelines. And Ramlee burgers might have poppy seeds like dhal for all I know.
1. Accept that guys are heartless fools.
2. Have lots of ice cream, even if you do go broke. Broken hearts don't occur often and nothing gives more consolation than splurging on ice cream you shouldn't have to save your money and hips. At least I hope so.
3. Bitch to your girlfriends. They will understand.
4. Cry. A lot. Then toss all the tissues down the toilet with the guy.
5. Write in your diary, no matter how lame your words might sound. Nobody's going to read it anyway.
6. Don't ever think about the guy again, no matter how difficult it might seem at first. It saves your sanity and emotional health in the long run.
Without the Internet
1. Go to the park.
2. Hang out in shopping complexes shopping.
3. Hang out in shopping complexes to survey the architecture.
4. Take a tour of Subang Jaya in Rapid KL's buses.
5. Call your friends and talk for hours.
6. Read.
7. Adopt a cat.
8. Harass your neighbour.
9. Chat up your cousin's friends through snail mail.
10. Get lots of pirated DVDs and drool over the scenery. Recommended: Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman and Johnny Depp.
11. Film your own movie, maybe with your cat/dog as the main protagonist. Then upload to YouTube and publicise it online and hope that Malaysia's indie scene picks it up.
School
1. Pretty easy.
2. Study.
3. Get friends.
4. Butter up the teachers.
5. Talk a lot.
6. Or maybe not. Become a Mensa certified genius instead.
7. The first two sub-headings apply here.
8. Write your own book. Suggestion: The Best School Toilets in Subang Jaya. (If you do write that, remember to send it to the Health Ministry. They'll be very interested to know, trust me.)
Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any consequences which might arise from any individual's actions influenced by these guidelines. And Ramlee burgers might have poppy seeds like dhal for all I know.
posted by Lynn at
12:24 am
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