(As requested by Ken Vin, who asked for Part 2
when he should be studying for P, ha!)
~*Here Be Spoilers to the new Transformers movie*~ [So read at your own discretion, okays?]
Scriptwriter 1 to the new Transformers movie: So I've got, like, some ideas for the new movie.
Scriptwriter 2: Okay, shoot.
S 1: There'll be more Megan Fox.
S 3: Obviously.
S 2: The director's asking us to include details of her wardrobe too.
S 2: What for?
S 3: As many costume changes as possible, he said. And a really
good one for the final bang, if you know what I mean.
S 1: You mean...a
loud, messy, Everything is Destroyed kind of bang, right?
S 3: *rolls eyes* What were you thinking?
S 2: *smirk* Got it. Anything else?
S 1: You haven't even heard my ideas yet!
S 3: *sigh* Okay, go ahead.
S 1: How about Egypt?
S 2: China?
S 3: Start in China. Lots of destruction in...Beijing? Shanghai? Shanghai sounds good.
S 2: Got it.
S 1: And ask props if they can include the logo for Malaysia Airlines in the bottom left corner for a more...global feel.
S 3: Why Malaysia?
S 2: The stewardesses are hot. Have you
seen those tight-fitting kebayas?
S 1: My point exactly.
S 3: Anything, anything. Okay, so another cover-up by the government?
S 2: Yeah. You know what the Chinese are like. All that hush hush.
S 3: Kinda like us too.
S 1: The point is. The point is. The point
is - the Chinese will believe their government.
S 2: Chyeah.
S 3: Okay, whatever. Any more ideas, S 1?
S 1: We'll resurrect Megatron. And...er...cos it's the pyramids in Egypt, we'll have a subplot where the Autobots and Decepticons were here waaaaay before we started recording stuff.
S 2: Ooo, kinda like aliens being responsible for our technology, that kind of thing?
S 1: *whisper* I think the Scientologists will be happy.
S 3: *irritably* You've got the wrong idea about Scientology.
S 2: Moving
on!S 1: *huffs* Fine. Oh, and I've got another idea - we'll bring in Deep Roy as an Egyptian official.
*pause*
S 3: Whatever for?
S 1: More actors, more reasons for people to watch, right?
S 2: Okay...
S 1: Oh, and I've got one more...Sam will die before the end.
S 2 & 3:
What?!
S 1: Wait - wait - here's the twist - he'll meet the Primes before he really goes, right? And they'll make sure that he gets back to life again, cos he's the chosen one, right? So he goes back, but during that time, we'll string the audience along by having Megan scream about how much she loves him -
S 3: Have you been reading Harry Potter?
S 1: What?
S 2: You know, Deathly Hallows.
S 1: I might've. But I don't see what does this have to do with my idea.
S 3: Right. Any more?
S 2: We'll have a robot hump Megan Fox's leg.
S 1: What for?
S 2: I dunno. Just because. It's funny.
S 3: Yeah.
S 1: And we'll have something about balls.
S 2: Balls of steel, that kind of thing?
S 3: Yeah! That's hilarious!
S 1: Heheh. Anything else?
S 3: We'll name the main enemy...The Fallen.
S 2: Erm...lame.
S 1: No, I see his point - we'll name it The Fallen so people will think there'll be this, like,
huge army of Decepticons, but it turns out that it's just this guy, you know?
S 2: Okay. And you're point is...?
S 1: Revenge of the Head Honcho doesn't have that snap, innit?
S 2: Gotcha.
S 3: Thank you, gentlemen. Oh, and Bay requested that we mention Obama.
S 1: Kays. I love the guy.
S 3: Although I might like to point out that most of the senior government officials will be...erm...white.
S 1: Nobody's going to think about political correctness when they watch this movie.
S 2: True.
S 3: We have John Turturro, anyways.
S 1: Yep. So it evens out.
S 2: *yawn* I was wondering...how about including another girl besides Megan?
S 3: Decepticon. Yep. A hot girl.
S 1: Who'll be seducing Sam, right?
S 3: Yes.
S 2: Aggressively.
S 1: Awesome.
S 3: *beep* Oops, call waiting. Gotta go.
S 1: Bye.
S 2: See ya.
S 3: *click* Dumbasses. Hey Sam, that good enough for you?
Sam: Yep. I hope Prime's happy.
***
Should've been called
Revenge of the Cliches, really. Cos we have:
1. Corny dialogue
2. The Chosen One
3: Fake tragedy - protagonists die, but they are resurrected
4. Hot screaming girl
5. Rocks fall. Everyone dies. The end, innit. (And then Sex Ensues, but of course they don't show you that.)
6. OMG I LOVE YOU PLEASE DON'T GO I WANT TO LIIIIIIIIIVE
Fanfiction is ruining my brain.
And I've run out of ideas of how to blog about the time we spent in MPH laughing over Romance novels. Maybe another day.
~*Here Be the End of the Spoilers to the new Transformers movie*~