Green Ego Blog

The search for the perfect ondeh-ondeh still continues. Those being sold at the Ramadhan bazaar were blah compared to the one I ate years ago in Malacca. Oh...that was the best I have had so far. It was made by a Nyonya family, and it had just the right amount of gula melaka - in fact, it was so squishily gooey that the brown liquid squirted all over my shirt when I bit into it. The ones I had from the bazaar were so chewy...and the gula melaka was CRUNCHY. That was so wrong! And the other one I ate had virtually non-existent gula. Big disappointment.

Oh well. You can't always get what you want.

Not to mention that Lolita book Chin Lei has her eye on...

It's quite depressing sometimes, to step into a bookshop and feast your eyes on all those books and words, and then you realise that your pocket's so shallow it only holds fluff and SPM is coming up in less than two months.

Has anyone heard of The Stolen Child by Keith Donohue? Neat reworking of the myth of Faeries and changelings. First time I ever saw it...in Borders. My heart is torn!

I have been told recently that my ego has grown to a truly magnificent entity. It's boundless; it's beautiful; it's big, and it ain't ashamed to say it loud and proud.

Friend: Wah, someone ada big ego now lah?

Me: Of course!

Friend: The Universe doesn't revolve around you, you know.

Me: I know.

Friend looks quizzical.

Me: I AM the Universe! The Universe is expanding because my ego is expanding so quickly!

Friend: dot dot dot

If it looks familiar, it's because it is. Ha.

Dhamma class had another discussion today on the ego, and how people have both the egocentric and the non-egocentric mind. When you're too egocentric, it can be quite bad to the world in general...while if you're too non-egocentric, it seems that you are likely to get trampled on.

I see. But a healthy dose of the ego helps to keep up the fragile self-esteem. Got that - I've been there, gone through that. It was hell.

I conducted an interview with my egocentric side today, and here it is:

Q: So what do you think is Malaysia's most important asset?
A: Me. Duh.

Q: And why is that?
A: It's obvious, obviously.

Q: I see. What is your opinion on the examination format in SPM?
A: It contradicts itself so much it's almost like watching a tragicomedy when the papers are marked.

Q: Have you had personal experience with this problem?
A: Puh - leese! Of course I have! DUH!

Q: If Matt Bellamy were to visit Malaysia soon, what would you recommend to him?
A: Interesting question. I don't know, because I don't think he'll ever think of visiting this country. But I'll tell him that I'm the best thing that ever happened to Malaysia anyway.

I'm tired and worn out. I'm a freak of nature with moods changing faster than Malaysian humidity.

Ah, woe is me! Is that a happy dagger I see? Where art thou, Matt? Wilt thou ever light up my life, nevermore?

I'm well aware of how it aches.
And you still won't let me in.
Now I'm breaking down your door,
to try and save your swollen face.
Though I don't like you anymore
you lying trying waste of space.

~ Song to Say Goodbye, Placebo

It hits harder than Muse ever did before. And it hits right in the raw, that part which breaks you, slowly, every time it's touched, no matter how lightly.