Eighteen and counting down

I wonder why I still read Seventeen magazine. All that fashion and beauty tips I never bother to try out, or even read properly. All that guy advice I won't even think about putting into practice. Ho-hum. Entertainment. I don't even own lipgloss.

And because I can - I shall!

*CONTAINS SPOILERS SO DON'T BLAME ME IF YOU READ ANYTHING ACCIDENTALLY*

A comparison of the Artemis Fowl and Harry Potter series

Book One

Artemis Fowl

The introduction of the main players of the series. Artemis as the anti-hero was a new twist, innit. No Dark Lord or forces of evil. The fairy technology wowed me, mainly because, reading the book for the first time, I had no idea what Colfer was talking about half the time.

The Philosopher's Stone

I remember loving the book. A lot. And I was awed by the magic that time. The fact that it was a school story made it even better. So anyway - intro to main characters.

Book Two

The Arctic Incident

Very nice follow-up to the first. My favourite Arty book.

The Chamber of Secrets

Good follow-up, really, despite what people say about it. And Rowling maintained the pace and suspense.

Book Three

The Eternity Code

Arty back to being the conniving, evil, selfish brat he is - what can be better? Second favourite, followed by the first book.

The Prisoner of Azkaban

This was Rowling's funniest book, for me. And most developed, in terms of character and plot. (Hands up who got dizzy after the Time-Turner scenes!)

Book Four

The Opal Incident

Now this is where the Artemis Fowl series hits a snag, after the first three brilliant ones. A villain comes back, as demented as ever, and vows world domination (sounds familiar?). Arty goes around not-understanding-things for half the book - bad for me, because I love him being the all-knowing, arrogant bugger he is. However, this book contains the first character death of the series, something that would come back to affect Artemis and the other characters for a long time afterwards.

The Goblet of Fire

Call me biased - but this was my favourite Potty book. Harry's growing awareness, the new romance between Ron and Hermione...and the suspense Rowling managed to sustain throughout. And coincidentally, the first character death too - Cedric Diggory.

Book Five

The Lost Colony

Colfer comes back slightly better for this one, with time-travel and demons. New ideas about magic. But alas - a Mary Sue-ish character in the form of Minerva Paradizo. I laughed over Arty's (newfound) feelings of attraction towards females, but rolled my eyes over Minerva. Too convenient.

The Order of the Phoenix

Put it like this - I read the book on the first day, and didn't re-read it after that. What does that tell you? It was so draggyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. And Harry goes emo, snogs Cho Chang, dumps her, sees Sirius die and finds out that Dumbledore was keeping so many things from him. How depressing.

Book Six

The Time Paradox

Okay - I'll quote what a few people said about this book on their LJ posts - it felt like "very good fanfiction". It did...the plot itself got me wondering, and the first few chapters felt unnatural. Picks up halfway through, but even after all the action and classic Arty, the one thing that stayed was The Kiss. I am against The Kiss, unfortunately.

And oh - Opal comes back AGAIN. Just die, woman. Goddammit - I CAN HAZ OPAL KOBOI DEAD PLEEZ?

The Half-Blood Prince

This is the most potong stim-mest book ever in the HP series. Yeah, even Dumbledore's death. And Malfoy crying. And that blasted monster in Harry's chest. Should have killed him then, donchertink? Though...Rowling redeemed herself with the flashbacks on Voldy's history.

Book Seven

No Arty Book 7 yet...for some time at least. I don't mind, really. In the meantime, I'll wait for the sequel to The Supernaturalist. Dang, I just realized that Stefan Bashkir dies at the end of the first book. How to fangirl now? ='(

The Deathly Hallows

Draggy, very. Character development? *snort* And it felt like fanfic in places. Hogwarts battle was too short. And she ends on a silly and totally unnecessary epilogue. Bleh.

*HERE BE NO SPOILERS*

By the way...how come I don't hear of anyone reading Garth Nix's Sabriel trilogy? One of the best series I've read recently. Go try it if you haven't.

And the Tiffany Aching series.

And all the Discworld novels.

Somebody somewhere reading this is rolling his/her eyes right now. "Not again, Lynn, not again."

I don't feel for you.