Scene from a phone call: Part 1

Customer: Herro? Streamyx customer service ah?

Customer service person: Hello, this is Streamyx, how can I helpchu?

C: Eh, how come the connection so slow wan? Google pun kennot load wei, walau!

CS: Er...I'll refer you to the technical department, please hold on...

*fifteen minutes of shitty music and some TM.net ads promoting their awesomely pathetic service*

Tech Guy/Girl/Might be machine for all you know: Herro? How can I helpchu?

C: Oi, Streamyx so slow wan these days. Google oso cannot load! You think this is a joke hah?

T: Er...er...we are currently upgrading our services, do apologise for the inconvenience -

C: Eh you don't give me that crap - you've been upgrading for how many years still cannot work wan!

T: Er...er...our cable undergoing repairs in the Arctic Ocean -

C: Walao, you think I so stupid issit?

T: Sir, if you could just check the blinking lights on your modem -

C: Oh, you mean the blinking lights on the blinking modem? What for?

T: Cos - er - er - if the lights are blinking, means not stable lor, er...

C: Still blinking, always blinking wan. Normal la. No no, cannot, I want a reason for why I CAN'T LOAD GOOGLE!

T: Have you tried using other sites?

C: Yes la, I'm not that dumb dumb what.

T: Open your Internet Explorer again -

C: I used Internet Explorer, I used Firefox, I used Safari, I used Google Chrome - sumua tak jalan. How now?

T: Er...you can try unplugging your modem, and then plug back again.

C: Okay. I tried that three times.

T: Er...do you get any error code when you try to log on?

C: Don't have oso.

T: Er...then ah...maybe it's just the timing...

C: Wah, you telling me that your service memang suck wan issit?

T: No sir, no, you misunderstand me - what I'm saying is that we're going through - er - upgrading services -

C: How come I ask to upgrade to 2 MB connection you buggers say cannot?

T: Cable la, cable, watudu?

C: So really, what you're saying is that TM.net cannot deliver the services that they promote in their adverts?

T: Eh sir, I'm just an employee, how can say anything wan -

C: So, really, you agree with me that Streamyx sucks and that giving a company monopoly over the Internet service in this country was actually a mistake?

T: ...

C: Aiyer, fine la, at least I can sign in to MSN. Bye!

T: ....

*an hour later*

C: Nooooooooooo I need another three days to download Fast and Furious! SIENLAH!

[Disclaimer: Any resemblance to persons living, dead or metaphorical was coincidental and thereby excludes me from any claim to responsibility for this post.]