Miscellany

I should really cut down on my Oreos and hot chocolate. Meh. Am missing Milo. With lots and lots of condensed milk to give you diabetes in the future.

Anyway.

This is when things start looking interesting. I don't know about you, but I would really prefer to learn Science and Maths in English. Which I missed, as my year was the last to learn both subjects in Malay. Not that there was much difficulty in learning them in English in college - although we did amuse our lecturers back then by asking them to explain the terms in Malay sometimes - but it would be good to start the basics of the subjects in English onwards. Because some terms are just waaaay different from each other. Have had a few times when I got confused with the terms my younger sis was asking me, only to find out that they weren't different from what I had learnt in school.

Am I going to comment about whether people are acting wisely for or against the whole issue?

I don't know.

Reading the comments on Malaysia Today, you get a few comments which sound logical, well thought out - reasonable. And then you get people who TALK LIKE THIS!!!!!! and use expletives to show how furious and passionate they are about the issue.

Look - I admit this - I'm more likely to believe you when you explain your stand, and your points, in a clear, systematic manner, and not abuse anyone else in your statements. Ad hominem and all that - ever heard of it? This is the issue itself - yes, we know people are involved in it somewhere; they have to be, in order for this issue to be around for so long - but don't start shouting in your comments, and abuse people, and get emotional and call for radical changes.

Changes - yes; impulsive changes - no.

And you say: "But you're too young to understand this - what do you know? You haven't had any kids yet; you're not working - this doesn't affect you as much as it does to me!"

Well yes, this issue hasn't - and all the rest of the issues related to race, and being Malaysian, and the discriminatory policies we have - but they will.

I am already experiencing firsthand the phenomenon of young adults leaving the country to continue their tertiary education in other countries. Me - I confess - wasn't that ambitious as a kid. I didn't really think about leaving the country until I was in Form 4, and the whole idea of choosing a career and a major started to grow among me and my friends. And that's when I started hearing about how it's not the A's you get that determines where you go; it's not what you can achieve that will get you where you want to be - in short, it was an eye-opener, and introduced me to a different side of Malaysia and her history that I've never seen before.

And then there was the Internet - I only had Streamyx in Form 5 (OMG I REMEMBER THE DAYS OF THE DIAL-UP =.=") - and phwah, a whole new world. Of course, it disturbed and fascinated me at the same time, but after all that...I wasn't able to read my Sejarah textbook the same way again. I used to hate Sejarah way back in lower secondary, mainly because I disliked memorizing dead dates and facts, and never knowing why people did what they did - since no reasons were given, usually, and I'm always looking for an explanation (but people are never always reasonable, yes?). But I didn't read my book then and wonder whether half of what I'm reading was the truth or just a fabrication based on actual facts. And then in Form 4 - oh hello - I'll find myself reading the text and being conflicted. (You can punch holes in some of the statements if you want - I used to do that, until the panic before SPM just shut everything out.)

[Lol, solid walls of text!]

Thing is, who are the people who are speaking up about these issues? Is it us? Or the older generation? Who are these people who are leaving comments on blogs?

My parents can remember the time after Independence - I can't. Was born during Tun Mahathir's time, and will now see another PM step down soon. I can't compare what it's like to study in an English school, to go through the British public exams, to experience 1969, to see the implementation of the NEP - I can't. I don't know if I can compare, so I don't. I won't pretend to.

And so where does this lead exactly...?

Nowhere, really. I still need time to organize my thoughts and views, to analyze what I believe in, and where I want to go. I need time to grow up, to come to terms with the fact that I'm going to be an adult soon, that being 18 doesn't excuse a lot of things, that I have to look at the issues of my country, and choose what am I going to do with them, and decide.

You can teach us all you like about moral values and patriotism in Moral and whatever subjects you want to implement - but it won't work if the kids don't believe in them.

This is a long rant, and I've gone off on another tangent. (Probably cos I haven't had lunch.)

Ah well.

Time?

Maybe. But what's the use of time if you don't know what to do with it?

Anyways.

Some random thing from Sharon Bakar's blog - Miss Manner's Guide to Reading and Eating. Love love love this, especially the part about food stains on the pages. I find that some of my books tend to have chocolate (cos I love reading and waiting for the chocolate to melt on my fingers before eating it) and Maggi kari stains (cos it's the Absolute Shnizzles to read and eat Maggi kari with sup yang teramat pekat until your nose is running and your eyes are weeping). Hee. And yes, I do have a bad habit of reading and eating, mostly during lunch. Mother used to scold me like crazy every time I do that - annoys the hell out of her - but me being the stubborn one, I'll go ahead and do it anyway.

I can just imagine you - the random reader - going: "What were you blathering about earlier? What problems in Malaysia wei? Aiya, no need to worry, wan mah - everything okay what!"

I'd like to think so too, I really do.

Edit -

I don't know if this is true - but I hope it isn't. I really do. Because it'll be blardy ironic for him to go there while I'm here.

Ha, life. Don't talk to me about life.

How come this site wasn't in existence when I was going through my rabid fangirl phase? IRONY!

If he really does go to Malaysia while I'm stuck in his home country, I'm going to cry. Complete breakdown. Something.

How can you do this me? When will I ever get the chance to hear your scintillating voice and witness that incandescent smile for real? WHY WHY WHY?

And I'm going to sulk for the rest of the day - KTHXBAI.