Smile

It's just one more day before my sixteenth; my friends have wished me in advance; I'm happy - but the thought which comes to my mind right now is...what I am, the person I am. (Blame it on Damien Rice...)

I said I wasn't going to write a post about my years before I turned sweet sixteen, but it's inevitable, somehow. I go over my memories, flip through my diaries, wonder about that little girl who laughed and cried so much...

Even after countless reflections and questions put forward to close friends, I am still no closer to understanding the person that I am. And it's all right - it's all right.

I don't have to understand myself...because I don't have a constant self. I am in a perpetual state of flux...I am.

I am; I am; I am.

(This slightly blue state could be due to last night's late reading of The Sorrows of Young Werther; beautiful language - but the hopelessness of it all!)

"I have been more than once intoxicated, my passions have always bordered on extravagance: I am not ashamed to confess it; for I have learned, by my own experience, that all extraordinary men, who have accomplished great and astonishing actions, have ever been decried by the world as drunken or insane." ~Goethe, The Sorrows of Young Werther

Somebody make me insane then...stimulants, anyone?

Anyway, the countdown is still on! It's -

ONE MORE DAY TO MY BIRTHDAY!

stones taught me to fly
love taught me to lie
life, it taught me to die
so it's not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball

~Cannonball