Godspeed, manic one

1. Executive summary

In which I attempt to identify and explain the causes of my mood swings. This post also intends to discover the alternatives available for me to reduce my moodal* fluctuations. The graph below serves as a reference for the discussion that follows.

2. Potential causes of moodal fluctuations

a. Thinking too much

A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment. - Pride and Prejudice, Austen

See, Jane Austen had it right. Right there. Women! They think too much. They'll take some throwaway statement you made while watching a football match and your brain's operating at 30% capacity (because the other 60% is wondering whether Gerrard's going to score, and the remaining 10% is just blank space going "hungryyyyy"), and they'll analyze it, break it down, attach little potential implied meanings to it, and then throw it back to you with the meaning completely mangled. And then they get hurt, and they'll throw in tears as well, 100% free of charge, and you'll be wretchedly trying to explain to her what you really really meant while keeping an eye on the football game.

That's an example. Me, my brain works like a girl in that sense. I over-analyze things. And then I emo and think things that don't make sense. Well they do make sense, in a way - they make sense to me. Does the fact that it only makes sense to me means that it does not make sense in reality? (And you as the guy would be thinking, "Oh god, she's got Wikipedia as a back-up source; this can't be good.")

b. Caffeine and sugar

I like tea. When I need to study, I drink tea. When I'm upset, I drink tea. And Starbucks. White chocolate mocha and Java Chip. I'm the sort of person with "a one-track mind" (to quote my mum), who when she decides she likes something, she likes it for a long time. I scare myself sometimes in that respect. But anyway - tea and coffee. Caffeine. And then on some days I have more sugar than is good for me - like brownies and cookies and buttercream frosting on cake galore - and I get high. Maybe it's just persykological, but it makes me happy and I'm high.

c. Various external factors

Like bad exam results, stress, general crappiness, and PMS.

3. Alternatives to combat moodal fluctuations

a. Awareness

Becoming aware is a good step. I think. Like realising what you're saying. And what you shouldn't say.

b. Meditation

I used to, Sunday school trained us. Kinda. Been years since I've done it.

c. Ask yourself: "Will this matter to me tomorrow?"

And probably the answer would be "No", or perhaps "Not as much". And it changes your perspective.

d. Have a sense of perspective

It would be like having my own personal virtual Total Perspective Vortex.

4. Conclusion

In conclusion, the only thing I can say about my moodal fluctuations is that I have to control it. Yeah. I'll write up the proposal next time, but not now...

*It's not a word, but IT'S MY BLOG AND I'LL USE IT IF I WANT TO.

And I'll throw in something random from Adams' The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Just because.

"How can I tell," said the man, "that the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensations and my state of mind?"