Because

It builds up. Then it hits you when you least expect it. And the realisation sinks.

These words aren't enough, I know. You yourself can probably express what you want to much more effectively than this. I want to - but when I want to, really want to, when everything could be okay just by saying something - anything, it's not that easy.

I get tongue-tied and go quiet. I don't know what to say, what to do. There'll be that daze-like state, the vague confusion, the strange thoughts that you don't want to acknowledge - for fear that they'll make it worse, and all the while, you have to smile and pretend that eveything's going to be all right, because everyone seems to be acting in a certain way and you don't want to ruin it.

And when you get the chance to say something, all you can do is to smile half-heartedly and turn away, because you're afraid to show more than what you think you should.

You want to say more, much more - but you don't know how. Or when. Or even why.

our clocks are ticking now so before our time is gone ~