Eleanor Rigby type of day

I've been humiliated so many times today that if someone were to tell me, tomorrow morning, that I could erase the past few years, I would say yes.

It's a terrible thing, to have someone tell you that you can't make your own decisions. Even worse, when through no fault of your own, you're blamed for things you can't control.

There is no meaning left in these things I'm pushed to do. So you go to work, every day, and you see all these things for you to look at and care about. You come back, you look at the things left to do. And when you're alone in the toilet, you just sit there thinking, What the fuck happened to me?

These terrible petty things people do to show power over you - deciding things for you without asking, blaming you for simple everyday things, telling you it's all your fault - it's not a sudden thing. It just happens, day after day after day, and though you try to stay positive and keep it in, there are times when you find yourself sitting in the toilet at 3 pm thinking, yet again,  What the actual fuck happened to me?

Lord, people can be so unfeeling. And the worst part is, it's not because they mean any harm, it's because, in a terrible way, They don't think about you. They just don't. How is it like, to do things - especially when it involves other people - and not to give a single fuck what they feel like?

And a lengthy quote from Pratchett to end this shitty day -

[Quote]

“All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

"They're not the same at all!"

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"

MY POINT EXACTLY.”

- Hogfather, Terry Pratchett 

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