Neigh nay

It's CNY eve and I probably should be helping my parents clean up - who knew there was so much to clean up?! - but I'm lazy so I'm typing this.

I'm going to be 24 - 25 by the lunar calendar. Year of the Horse, my year! And I wonder if it would be as bad as last year. I really hope not.

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But also - receiving more of the nudge-nudge-wink-wink "when you planning to get married?" type of questions. I really wouldn't know, would I, since I'm not the proposing type. I'd like to be traditional when it comes to proposals, thank you very much.

How do you see yourself in 5 years? When I was 20 I thought I would try to be an ASA by the time I turned 25, but now I can weep with laughter at my own naivety. Not that I'm very much wiser now - I still need to learn to control my temper - but I used to think I would suddenly turn into a super motivated exam-taking person while juggling work and free time. Haha what a joke.

It's not good to start the year being a cynical ass, so here's the list of things I plan to achieve this year (take note: the key word here is "plan". I didn't say I must achieve these things):

1. Get fitter

Cos I was getting unhealthier whenever work piled up, and it's not good because not only was I worried about deadlines, I was worried about my own body and that was really upsetting.

2. Be willing to take more risks

I'm still not going to bungee jump - not ever - but the risks I'm thinking of would probably be life-changing. Of course bungee jumping could be life-changing - the line could snap and you'd be dead in the time it takes to free fall, but I don't mean that - I mean I want to do something that could shake things up. A bit. Maybe a lot. Oh I don't know. Something something.

3. Be more decisive

Which brings me back to the point above - I don't even know the risks I want to take. This is nuts - I'm supposed to be good at calculating future risk - but hell do I know what I want to do this year.

4. Write more

Hence this new iPad mini and attached keyboard. I know - I should have got a new phone, what with my 4S being bitchy and deleting contacts whenever it felt like it - but I think (and hope) that this iPad mini would help me write more.

5. Read more

I read every day, but when you find that what you're reading is mostly: a) news, b) Facebook, c) cat-related or d) 9gag posts, you realise that your brain is starved for more substantial things.

Hence this iPad mini (the MINI word is very important, according to Shu Yuan), because I can download free ebooks and read them anywhere. Free is subjective, of course. PDF files then.

6. Be happier

You know those terribly upbeat, super mega optimistic motivational posts that your friends like to share on Facebook? They have a point sometimes. When you feel like crap, you look at those fake vintagey photos with some vaguely hipster type bearing weird inspirational messages on your newsfeed, you'll start thinking: "It could be worse". It could be. You know, I know, your mother and everyone knows - it could be worse. But someone took the effort to make those posts and you have the time and convenience to go on Facebook to read them, and you think: "Thank god for Facebook and people who post these things".

Except those KEEP CALM posts - I hate people telling me to KEEP CALM. It's not OK and can you just let me let go steam a bit ffs...thanks very much.

Happiness isn't a choice, but gratitude is. (This would look very nice on an Instagram photo, don't you think?) And there is always coffee for days when things go wrong but really aren't that shitty.

I think I should get a coffee machine.