The relatively tolerable experience of being 20+
Listen : It's Time - Imagine Dragons
This article has been showing up on my Facebook newsfeed once too often this week. You know, the one you'd most likely see if you're in your 20s. This one: Why Generation Y Yuppies are Unhappy.
This isn't the first article so far I've seen about Gen Y, definitely it won't be the last. The Times' Millenials front cover for one, and the many articles 20-somethings wrote to protest that No, you don't get us, we're not like that!
Sometimes I do wonder why older people (read: they might even just be in their 30s) write off 20 somethings as narcissistic, entitled individuals "who still live with their parents". This isn't going to be a knee-jerk reaction to their opinions, but here goes:
1. We're not narcissistic
This over-sharing on social media? You want us to over-share. From online advertising - for a new restaurant, a new movie like the Hunger Games, to our own data for the NSA - it's strange how we get the label "narcissistic" slapped on us when we share your products and put our Seal of Approval on them.
Would you visit a new restaurant if your parents went there, took gajillion photos and shared it on Facebook or Instagram? Or started posting selfies at work? Thought not. I'm not being disrespectful here, but what you like as a teen or young adult will be different from your parents, and companies aren't stupid enough to ignore the younger market. And they know what we like and they encourage us to keep doing it in their own best interests.
And if along the way, girls have to post their duck faces and guys keep whining about GTA V on Facebook, so be it. It's only cheap advertising for you guys pocketing the money.
And while you may say that this over-sharing would spawn more Miley Cyruses (gods be good), take out your old photo albums and weep over your bell bottoms. You would have shared those photos to your friends if you had the chance - you know you would! - because they showed that you were Cool and In Trend.
2. We don't all feel entitled to everything
I know I don't. I know that most people I know don't.
But this "entitlement" thing - parents are able to give us more things than their parents, yes? So we grow up expecting that they can give us more, yes?
I'm not shifting the blame to the older generation, but sometimes when I'm out and I hear how parents spoil their kids, I wonder who really told us kids that we could have everything we want.
I was in Empire one day with my sister, and this guy walked past asking his 8 or 10 year old boy what he wanted. "You want iPad or iPad mini?"
My sister started laughing and told me, "You give me either one also I take lah!"
When I was 9 I got an inflatable journal for Christmas and I was so damn happy. With my parents, who were not filthy rich (not even a little bit dirty), it's either This or No This. It wasn't This or That.
See, older people, if you get your primary school kid an iPhone, don't complain how that same kid feels entitled to everything when s/he starts working and still expects you to help out.
But on the other hand, there are also parents who taught their kids to be independent and proactive and persistent. Don't tell me that 30 years ago there were as many start-ups as there are today. And if it wasn't for younger us and the Internet, you wouldn't be able to Skype or WhatsApp with us when we're studying on the other side of the world. And I wouldn't have to tell my parents everything while I was in Drake.
3. Living with parents
We don't get it as bad here, I suppose, due to the Asian culture thing. If you're still single and your family home is within driving distance of your workplace, then by all means continue living with your parents.
But for those in the US - really, when you're in your 20s, would you move out or continue living with your parents if you had a choice? Which would you choose if you were at that age? Not that hard is it.
4. I was told I could be anything I wanted
The Gen Y article up there made a valid point about happiness to us 20 somethings.
Happiness = Reality - Expectations
When I was younger, I said I wanted to be a lawyer. My parents laughed. When I was 9, I said I wanted to be a writer. They laughed also.
When I was 14-15 - right after PMR - my dad started suggesting Actuarial Science.
I've had people ask me why I didn't take up some major related to English.
Because money. And future "career prospects". I see the point, and I grew up in a family that was pretty realistic in managing expectations. But for those who grew up with parents telling them that following their dreams would lead to money and a wonderful career and an early retirement by 30 - not so good.
I guess my parents were more like Asian dad below than the American "good job!" type of parent. So even though I know my happiness could be more, what the more is, is pretty subjective.
And then soon I'll be 40-something and there'll be a whole new generation complaining about how the younger one is made up of selfish, ungrateful narcissists.
This article has been showing up on my Facebook newsfeed once too often this week. You know, the one you'd most likely see if you're in your 20s. This one: Why Generation Y Yuppies are Unhappy.
This isn't the first article so far I've seen about Gen Y, definitely it won't be the last. The Times' Millenials front cover for one, and the many articles 20-somethings wrote to protest that No, you don't get us, we're not like that!
Sometimes I do wonder why older people (read: they might even just be in their 30s) write off 20 somethings as narcissistic, entitled individuals "who still live with their parents". This isn't going to be a knee-jerk reaction to their opinions, but here goes:
1. We're not narcissistic
This over-sharing on social media? You want us to over-share. From online advertising - for a new restaurant, a new movie like the Hunger Games, to our own data for the NSA - it's strange how we get the label "narcissistic" slapped on us when we share your products and put our Seal of Approval on them.
Would you visit a new restaurant if your parents went there, took gajillion photos and shared it on Facebook or Instagram? Or started posting selfies at work? Thought not. I'm not being disrespectful here, but what you like as a teen or young adult will be different from your parents, and companies aren't stupid enough to ignore the younger market. And they know what we like and they encourage us to keep doing it in their own best interests.
And if along the way, girls have to post their duck faces and guys keep whining about GTA V on Facebook, so be it. It's only cheap advertising for you guys pocketing the money.
And while you may say that this over-sharing would spawn more Miley Cyruses (gods be good), take out your old photo albums and weep over your bell bottoms. You would have shared those photos to your friends if you had the chance - you know you would! - because they showed that you were Cool and In Trend.
2. We don't all feel entitled to everything
I know I don't. I know that most people I know don't.
But this "entitlement" thing - parents are able to give us more things than their parents, yes? So we grow up expecting that they can give us more, yes?
I'm not shifting the blame to the older generation, but sometimes when I'm out and I hear how parents spoil their kids, I wonder who really told us kids that we could have everything we want.
I was in Empire one day with my sister, and this guy walked past asking his 8 or 10 year old boy what he wanted. "You want iPad or iPad mini?"
My sister started laughing and told me, "You give me either one also I take lah!"
When I was 9 I got an inflatable journal for Christmas and I was so damn happy. With my parents, who were not filthy rich (not even a little bit dirty), it's either This or No This. It wasn't This or That.
See, older people, if you get your primary school kid an iPhone, don't complain how that same kid feels entitled to everything when s/he starts working and still expects you to help out.
But on the other hand, there are also parents who taught their kids to be independent and proactive and persistent. Don't tell me that 30 years ago there were as many start-ups as there are today. And if it wasn't for younger us and the Internet, you wouldn't be able to Skype or WhatsApp with us when we're studying on the other side of the world. And I wouldn't have to tell my parents everything while I was in Drake.
3. Living with parents
We don't get it as bad here, I suppose, due to the Asian culture thing. If you're still single and your family home is within driving distance of your workplace, then by all means continue living with your parents.
But for those in the US - really, when you're in your 20s, would you move out or continue living with your parents if you had a choice? Which would you choose if you were at that age? Not that hard is it.
4. I was told I could be anything I wanted
The Gen Y article up there made a valid point about happiness to us 20 somethings.
Happiness = Reality - Expectations
When I was younger, I said I wanted to be a lawyer. My parents laughed. When I was 9, I said I wanted to be a writer. They laughed also.
When I was 14-15 - right after PMR - my dad started suggesting Actuarial Science.
I've had people ask me why I didn't take up some major related to English.
Because money. And future "career prospects". I see the point, and I grew up in a family that was pretty realistic in managing expectations. But for those who grew up with parents telling them that following their dreams would lead to money and a wonderful career and an early retirement by 30 - not so good.
I guess my parents were more like Asian dad below than the American "good job!" type of parent. So even though I know my happiness could be more, what the more is, is pretty subjective.
And then soon I'll be 40-something and there'll be a whole new generation complaining about how the younger one is made up of selfish, ungrateful narcissists.
posted by Lynn at
2:26 pm
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