Receipts

Listen to: Summer Skin - Death Cab for Cutie

Sometimes the change of the seasons involve much more than leaves falling and temperature drops. At risk of sounding maudlin, I've changed quite a bit since summer.

Tearing up old receipts today was strangely...sad. Found an old receipt for Java Chip from Starbucks - it must have been really early in the semester, because I switched to white chocolate mocha for some months now. Lots of receipts from Starbucks, to be honest - I was probably a caffeine junkie at some points in the semester. If it wasn't tea, it was coffee. If it wasn't caffeine, it was me on cookies. Then there were the few occasions with alcoholic beverages, the involvement thereof - ahem. Good times.

Then the Saturday night outings with friends, with a few dates that stood out like Halloween and graduation night. Late summer, in shorts and shirts. Fall, with jackets and jeans. Then winter, with the sense of things ending underlying whatever I said or did. Photos on Facebook tell stories whether you want them to or not.

This is me, packing to go home. This is me, leaving my room. It's become one of my favourite places - one of the places where I can feel it's properly mine, and I don't have to share with my sister or anyone else.

Emo post. Why is it that I tend to go to Chicago when a change is coming? First trip there was my first trip to another city in the US; the second was with my family when they came here for my May commencement. And now, my third trip - probably my last trip in the US with friends.

It's strange, how sometimes what you want isn't what you need. I think I might just take my friend's advice to follow my head instead of jantungku. See me, see me not.

I wonder if anyone ever told you that you were lucky to have me. Usually what I heard was how lucky I was to have you. I was just wondering.