Teeth

Listen to: Indian Summer - Jonsi & Alex

Whoever thought of naming 'wisdom teeth' as 'wisdom teeth' should be given a lifetime supply of their favourite chocolate. Or something. Because the name fits. Not perfectly, but enough to demonstrate why wisdom was chosen instead of something mundane like 'adult teeth' or 'adolescent molars' or whatever.

See - wisdom teeth. Mine came through pretty late - the wisdom tooth at the back of the left side of my mouth started bothering me at the beginning of this year. The gum got swollen, I worried about infection, I couldn't eat, I got bothered by the pain when my mouth got dry - and it's always there, the annoyance, even when you don't think about it. I had a habit of irritating that spot with my tongue, even when I knew it would hurt. And don't talk to me about when I had to brush my teeth - one wrong stroke and I'm yelling in the bathroom. And the salt water rinses and the constant checking every day...those were the times.

It's out now, though. It's stopped hurting, and the tooth is out - not completely - but the top has emerged.

Wisdom eh. You don't want it, and it hurts when it's growing, and it pushes your other teeth out of whack (my dentist would definitely lecture me for not wearing my retainers, bleh), but it has to grow. It can get impacted (thanks to Chin Lei for the info :), but it will still hurt. So you either have to remove it through surgery, or you can go through the pain and let it grow. And it grows in awkward angles and places - mine is not in line with my other teeth - and you can remove it or just let it stay.

I read somewhere - okay, probably Wiki, where else - that it's called wisdom teeth because they tend to grow when you acquire wisdom, i.e. late adolescence or in the twenties. How apt.

I call these teething problems. All this focus on the angst of adolescence - what about the twenties? Bigger problems too. No more worrying about tests and that cute guy or what to wear for school or anything - now you have to worry about your job search, where you will live, whether a certain person will stay with you or not.

Somebody told me the other day s/he pitied me for some of my problems. Don't pity - you can empathize - but not pity. There is nothing to feel sorry about; I'm surprised that self-pity hasn't hit me this time. In the past, I would be wondering why this had to happen to me, why I had to go through this, what had I done wrong - not now. No need to cry, to wonder what could have been different. It happened. I chose it. I don't ask for pity. Judgement? I cannot stop you from judging. You will judge, whatever I explain.

No need for explanations then. The only person who needs an explanation is myself. I'm still trying to. Talking to the mirror helps. Somewhat.

Dreams - half my dreams tend to be about me looking for someone, something. Waiting and searching. Something indefinable. Dream the night before last was back to me looking for someone who I thought I could count on. The problem is, in dreams, it's always the same person that I tend to be looking for. But missing, unreachable. Not there.

Indian summer. I think mine has ended. As much as I don't want it to end - there's still time for something new, I suppose.