OH I SEE WHAT YOU DID THAR, MEYER

Ahem. Go read this.

Meyer was also ecstatic that the film’s soundtrack will include “Super Massive Black Hole” by her favorite band, Muse (”It wouldn’t feel like this movie was based on something I did without Muse in it,” she laughs) and says she’s being consulted on the rest of the soundtrack, as well.

OH HELL NO.

Somebody get that woman away from more Muse songs.

Okay, I'm happy she likes Muse, she being a mother samore. But no - I cannot, simply cannot agree to Muse being part of Twifail's soundtrack.

What next - Placebo?

Argh. I'm pissed.

And so - stealing the idea from Growing Up Cullen - I shall bring you this:

The Muse Episode, or Eddie Cullen: Ruining Muse since 1901

Emmett: WTF is this wuss singing about?

Edward: SHUT UP, EMMETT, I'M TRYING TO APPRECIATE THE MUSIC HERE. IT'S MUSE AND MATT BELLAMY IS NOT - AS YOU CRUDELY PUT IT - A WUSS. HE IS A GENIUS, EMMETT, THE LIKES OF WHICH WE HAVE NOT SEEN SINCE NIKOLA TESLA*.

*I like Tesla...from a distance. But the guy had these severe OCD tendencies. Can just imagine Edward emulating him. Beige shirts and stickers.

Emmett: Tesla as well, Ed? You are a wuss.

Edward: OMG EMMETT DO NOT CALL ME THAT NAME!!! NOW PLEASE LEAVE MY ROOM IF YOU HAVE NOTHING GOOD TO SAY ABOUT MY CHOICE OF MUSIC AND IDOLS.

Emmett: I don't get you, man. *stays to annoy Eddie further* This music is for wusses. Try Jay-Z. Or the PCDs.

Edward: I AM NOT HEARING YOU, EMMETT!! HOW CAN YOU COMPARE THE MUSICAL GENIUS OF MUSE TO THE DUBIOUS MUSIC OF JAY-Z? OR EVEN THE PCDS?! WHERE IS THE MESSAGE? WHERE IS RHYTHM? HARMONY? TECHNICAL VIRTUOSITY?

Emmett: Dude, it's just a freaking song.

Edward: IT IS NOT JUST A SONG, EMMETT. THIS SONG I'M LISTENING TO IS CALLED 'NEW BORN', IN WHICH IT TALKS ABOUT LOVING SOMEONE FULLY ENOUGH TO GIVE UP YOUR SOUL.

Emmett: You don't have a soul, bro.

Edward: BUT I HAVE A HEART! I HAVE THE IMMENSE CAPACITY TO FEEL! MY LOVE FOR BELLA IS PURE -

Emmett: Like this song? 'Oo baby can you hear me moan' (1)? Dude, you're still watching her sleep at night, are you? That's sick, man.

Edward: I REFUSE TO RISE UP TO YOUR GOADING, EMMETT. WHY WON'T YOU JUST LEAVE AND LET ME LOCK MYSELF IN MY ROOM FOR ETERNITY.

Emmett: Oh man, this is effing good. What's this song again? He sounds like he's -

Edward: OMG EMMETT DO NOT BE CRUDE! I CAN HEAR WHAT YOU'RE THINKING! HE'S SINGING 'MICRO CUTS' -

Emmett: Edward, I know you can't wait to do her, but you can't cut her up for your own sick amusement!

Edward: EMMETT! I AM NOT GOING TO CUT HER UP! HOW CAN YOU COUNTENANCE SUCH A THING! I WOULD NOT HURT A HAIR ON BELLA!

Emmett: Really? I worry for you, man. Does Carlisle know about this? OMG Edward - this song does not say what I think it says! *mock horror*

Edward: WHAT'S WRONG WITH 'HYSTERIA'(2)? I LIKE THE BASS IN THE SONG; WOLSTENHOLME DISPLAYS HIS SUPERB TECHNIQUE HERE - I CAN STILL SEE YOUR THOUGHTS, EMMETT!!!!!!

Emmett: Bro. Edward. I don't think Muse says what you think the band says in their songs -

Edward: I AM NOT LISTENING TO YOU EMMETT!!! *switches to Damien Rice* NOW YOU HAVE MADE ME EMO!!!!!!

Emmett: Ah, interesting song title. 'Rootless Tree.'(3) *pause* Edward?

Edward: OMG I CANNOT BELIEVE HE SAID THE F-WORD! YOU CAN HAVE THE DAMIEN RICE CDS, EMMETT!!

Emmett: Dude, I don't want them. Keep it, they're shit.

Edward: I'LL HAVE TO DESTROY THEM, EMMETT. PERHAPS I'LL THROW THEM OFF A CLIFF. DO NOT THINK THE LESS OF ME, EMMETT, BECAUSE I DID NOT KNOW THAT RICE WOULD INCLUDE SUCH OBSCENE WORDS IN HIS OTHERWISE TOUCHING LYRICS. I WILL HAVE TO GET RID OF THESE CDS BEFORE BELLA HEARS THESE AWFUL WORDS.

(1) from Supermassive Black Hole

(2) Didja see the UK video? Didjew? Go watch and be enlightened.

(3) the chorus of Rootless Tree goes:

So fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
And all you didn't do
I said bleed it, bleed it, bleed it
There's nothing in you
And do you hate me, hate me, hate me, hate me so much

Needless to say, I was not impressed when I heard him sing that.

Meyer is very much welcome to include that song though.

I have a very bad feeling that Time is Running Out will be included too. *glum*

Now, if she ever does include Plug In Baby, I'll start a petition. I mean it.

Oh Edward, I feel this way about you.



And I will end with this guy.